“There’s Always Going to be SOMETHING with you Joe”
“There’s Always Gonna Be Something With You Joe….” Meg Ryan, smirks at Tom Hanks in the film “Joe Vs. The Volcano”. Those who love this film, REALLY love it, Those who can’t stand it, really can’t stand it. Why I am choosing to write about this subject is simply because of the aforementioned quote.
Life.There IS , ( and will) always be : “Something.” or is it “Something”. I am still trying to figure it out. I am pretty shitty when it comes to grammar but can be quite smarmy in what I write. I will leave the technical crap to editors–for now, it’s a fucking blog.
So it is always something, isn’t it? Yet today I feel lucky. If Harry Callahan asked me today, if I feel lucky, I would have to say, “Yes Harry, I do feel lucky.”
But as Joe Banks was told by Patricia Grathamore, “ It is always going to be something with you Joe...” But she also shared,
Like Patricia, I live in a world of total amazement. Maybe it’s my sense of being completely hyper-sensitive to everything. It has its pluses when it comes to work, marketing and intuition about situations and people. Yet this can also be a curse of being overly curious, and think much too much about, I won’t say nothing, but things that just “are”. ( It’s Always Something)
Today, I got all my stuff done rather early. The day started off pretty solid; feeling good, pretty happy with a good night sleep under my belt and my shoulder, miraculously, not hurting too bad as it usually does upon rising.
The alarm went off at 5 a.m, yet my phone rang at 4:45, it was my friend travelling through Morocco who needed to know if it was Moroccan Oil that I used on her hair. I couldn’t help but laugh,”Um no”….. the conversation was interrupted by chatter of multiple people in the background of wherever she was, barking dogs and clicks on over the line which got so distracting I just hoped she heard me say ‘goodbye’ and ‘safe travels’.
I got Max up singing ” Leaving on a Jet Plane” in his ear to give him a laugh on rising and ready for his flight to LA. I got some breakfast down his gullet; and we blasted AC/DC down the 215 freeway to McCarran Airport where I got a pass to escort him to his gate.
Heading through security… Max got searched.( It’s Always Something)
He was wearing a hat that looked like Fidel Castro and carrying a tye-die backpack. ( Bless his heart, he is so his mother’s son)
He was completely searched and his bag dumped out in it’s entirety. ” It’s my belt that beeped” he kept claiming… “Its my belt, I am not carrying anything else”
Jesus, All I was saying to myself was: “Billy” please. Don’t say anything else.. We have to get you out of here, were running out of time.”
Max kept reaching into the bag, innocently, to” help” the TSA agent go through my, now mortified, fourteen-year-old teenagers- personal things; the TSA agent gently kept nudging Max back; I kept pulling Max back, and whispered to Max to let the poor ex-Del Taco employee a.k.a. TSA agent, do his “job”. ( It’s Always Something)
I felt like I was in Midnight Express, sans the hashish and the intense scene where Billy is profusely sweating in bathroom of the Turkish airport. ( lest we forget the “OH BILLY”, boob scene, best replicated here.)
We finally get through that debacle, when they tell me he has a Pre TSA pass on his ticket and because I only have an “escorting passenger pass” I have to go through the whole line all over again. Yeah, not going to happen. Sooooo… Max claims he may drop dead if I don’t escort him. They shuffle us to the front, and through we go.( It’s Always Something)
Max told me then and there he is ordering a Bloody Mary on the plane; I fist-bumped him and wished him good luck with that, but if he got it, he deserved it after that crap. ( It’s Always Something)
My little world traveler was finally airborne, and I got going to my first appointment of the day. Damn, the airport was slammed today. No idea why- Lots of chode-y “businessmen” with KISS gift-bags. Hmm. Yeah nice, thanks Vegas, comp the ” tourists.” ( It’s Always Something)
I made it out in one piece, checking my phone, waiting for a call from the boy,and hearing he made it ok to LA.
Arriving at my hair client early, I happily caught up with her and her always sage advice on kids, college, law suits and tuxedos. Left there an hour and change later– making the most of my drive-time had a nice chat with my good friend Ron, in Canada. At the stoplight I updated my Facebook , then after fighting with the remaining insanity and construction on Rampart, headed for the bank.
Red tape reared it’s ugly head when I swung by my house to check my mail as I hadn’t checked in three days, I pulled into my parking lot and quickly sprinted to my mailbox, monetarily, I drifted back to Monday morning’s Golden Nugget elevator; leaving the mailbox, I trip over air – shake it off quickly and flip through the sandwiched stack of mail, now falling, around my feet.
My wind whisked hair settled as I was safely back in the driver’s seat ( literally) of the car where I phoned the Las Vegas Parking Division who sent me a letter letting me know they lost all my paperwork for my parking ticket ( They cashed my check, yet lost the paperwork the check was STAPLED to.) ( It’s Always Something)
Knowing my new printer on the fritz, ( It’s Always Something) I headed over to my local copy shop on the corner where I vented to the owner and friend, Becky, about this stupid discrepancy and then realized anyone who works at a copy shop may as well have either invest in earplugs or be as savvy in giving advice as a hairdresser.
There is NEVER any good news in a copy/postal shop. Either someone is returning something that isn’t working, signing a document that needs to be notarized ( custody, divorce, tickets) sending packages to loved ones that reside far away, or just aggravated that they have to go through any of the hubbub that goes down at dealing with the tedious day-to-day paperwork of life. I realized this after bitching to Beck about my own crap, in walks Martha the mouth ( entered talking…)( It’s Always Something) about her package and how she thinks she has the wrong packing tape and how she needs stamps and…. and.. and…
I see poor Becky with her frozen smile, as I glance up from the 1000- word explanatory tome I am writing to the Parking Services department on the cover sheet of my fax. I whisper to Becky ” Wow, you hear all the shit don’t you” ” -“You have no idea”, she whispered out of the corner of her mouth.
I can tell with the holidays almost here,Becky longs to be with her new grand-baby and the daily grind is getting to her. I have known her for years now. She is one of those day-to-day familiar framily, the ones you give money to, to listen,the one’s that know more about you than most friends and I have. I’ve seen her happy showing me photos of the grand-baby grow from ultrasound to birth. I’ve seen her when we’ve both comforted each other through crappy divorces, (It’s Always Something)–and have had celebratory hugs on her new engagement.
Kind of like Jeannie , the lady I talk to that works at the market– she always keeps me up on celebrity gossip.
This weeks topic was Tom Cruise and how is now dating what’s her name…. You know, drug addicted, skanky red head, was in the remake of all the Herbie the Lovebug movies…. whatever her name is…HER— and with arms akimbo ,Jeannie stood her ground stating: ‘Tom completely ruined Katie Holmes spirit.”; Jeannie shook her head and gave a “Tsk, Tsk, Tsk” as she picked up a gum wrapper from the floor.. I grabbed my receipt and as I dragged my happy ass out of the store, turned back and laughed and hollered back: “Tom Cruise is an idiot”, He was right to be gunned down in “TAPS” Jeannie slapped her knee, and laughed too; but not a knowing laugh. I have a feeling she knew not what I was talking about. (It’s Always Something)
I digress, So leaving Copy-shop Becky, I wave hello to everyone at my nail place , which is next door to the copy shop. They wave me in, but I point to my wrist, ( signaling “I gotta go…”) which then I realize I am not wearing a watch. Eh, they got the picture.
I feel relieved I got that crap faxed off to the parking people and even more relieved that I had the good sense to grab my computer while running out of the house this morning. I know if I went home now I would opt for A) watching the 20-some, pre-holiday “Hallmark Channel” movies I already have on my DVR, or B) look for Alan Alda porn, I opted not to go home.
I am not in the mood for seeing great looking, first world problems of suburban-teen couples unite under the Xmas tree just yet; Nor do I feel like scouring PornHub or any other site for videos with guys looking remotely like Alan Alda, because trust me, there is nothing.( It’s Always Something)
Yes-This is my day off.
When (and if) Alan Alda really does decide to do porn , ( and I don’t care if he is old and shrivel-y) or even a look- alike of the Hawkeye Pierce of 1978 ,comes to fruition, I will be the first in line.
But no one today really has that Alda THING… That smarts or those killer greenish blue eyes and that fucking SMILE.
Well-maybe someone. Maybe. (It’s Always Something)
So I opt for coffee at a the local coffee place, and “Cream of Clapton” which Gary and I used to listen to on the way to his Grateful Dead gigs just north of LA. Oh so many years ago. Damn you Bell Bottom Blues. I shuffle to ” I Feel Free”.
Gary and I, …We don’t talk much anymore. Which makes me sad because he is one of my best friends. I remember we would laugh every-time ” Hello Old Friend” came on in the car.
He would grab the bag, and I had the bowl and the light. We’d cruise along PCH without a care. Good Friends.
Today, almost 20 years later, I get it, the past year or so there’s lots been of things on his plate today. Even though he doesn’t have the freedom to talk to me, I am still his friend. ( It’s Always Something)
So here I am, People have come an gone already out of this coffee shop and me…. just here wondering what to write. Clapton is still on repeat in my headphones and my phone and computer are both dying… ( It’s Always Something)
So See, you can have great day, and still there is Always Something, and there always will be.
So Stay Mellow, Go with it. Grow with it.
Pick your battles, and remember, if it’s going to “ Always be Something” … “Something” is a fuck of a lot better with BADGE.
Blog Music Pairing: “I Feel Free”-By Cream … and of course Badge ( as above)